Just give me a reason
by IsummonDemonsinyourcloset
Summary: He hits her. She cries. He wakes up the next morning to find what he's done and he cries too. Then they repeat the process. They'll never change, they love each other too much. M for abuse and swearing, and cause I'm paranoid. Yes I know this is a little OOC but I wanted to try something a little different. Enjoy! Or not, if you don't like this kind of thing. Clace.


**Just give me a reason**

**CPOV:**

_Right from the start, you were a thief, you stole my heart and I your willing victim_

I lay with my head sitting on the pillow. I could hear his steady breaths as he lay next to me, his arm wrapped possessively around my waist. I know that he means it when he says he loves me, just I don't think he loves me as surely as when we started.

_I let you see the parts of me that weren't all that pretty and with every touch you fixed them_

When he found me I was broken and now I was whole. I just didn't know how I would live without him. He was a strange boy with a drinking problem. And yet I still stayed with him. Every time he hit me I would cry. The next day he would cry too and hold me in his arms. And then we would repeat the process.

_Now you've been talking in your sleep, oh, oh, things you never say to me, oh, oh, tell me that you've had enough of our love, our love_

I couldn't sleep. I pulled the sheet up over my exposed chest and sighed. We would never change. There was no way I could stay away. Every time he left he would come back to find the door locked. He would slump on the other side of the door and bang on it with his fists, yelling me to let him in.

_Just give me a reason, just a little bits enough_

And every time I _would_ let him in. Not just into the apartment but to my heart again. He would never say he was sorry. He would just come in and take me in his arms. And I would let him. I loved him and I couldn't let him go.

_Just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again_

We were both broken and now we had each other to take it out on. Not that I minded. He knew me well enough to know I could take it. Everyone else saw me as fragile and breakable but he would crush me to his chest, knowing I wouldn't break. He knew I was stronger than I looked.

_It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts_

He knew I was broken, he knew that in a way, I _was _fragile. And he reminded me that every day of my life. But then he followed it up with "I love you," I knew he used me, I knew he probably didn't love me. But I couldn't leave.

_We're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again_

The moonlight shone through the partially open curtains. I shifted my body around carefully, as not to wake him, and looked at his face. He looked younger when he slept, his strange gold eyes flicking around underneath blond eyelashes. I would never leave him. Even if I wanted to.

**JPOV:**

_Sorry, I don't understand where all of this is coming from. I thought that we were fine._

I hear her speak in her sleep. She does it every night. I never understand. I always wonder what she dreams about. If she dreams about me. She speaks now. "_Oh, we had everything._"

_Your heads running wild again, my dear we still have everything and it's all in your mind._

These words mean nothing to me. She moves a bit and I put my arm around her waist. She stops and sort of relaxes. I don't understand any of this. I don't understand myself. Or her. I have a drinking problem and yet every time I hit her, I regret it, and then I drink again, because I feel guilty. I will never change.

"_Yeah, but this is happening_."

_Now you've been having real bad dreams, oh, oh, you used to lie so close to me, oh, oh, there's nothing more than empty sheets, between our love, our love, oh, oh, our love, love, love, love!_

I don't understand what possessed me to pick her up, when I found her half dead and broken in an alley. I hadn't been a drunk then. I had been a responsible young man. I'm not saying she did this to me. I'm _we _did this to me.

_Just give me a reason, just a little bits enough_

My arm tightens around her waist. I won't let her go now. She means too much to me. She is too much of me to let me let her go. Sometimes I hit her. Then I would wake up the next day or sober up afterwards and realise what I had done. And I would cry. Because I'd hurt my angel.

_Just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again_

And she was basically my angel. Just when everything else in my world was crumbling, she appeared to make it better. I do love her, and I know she loves me, I'm just not sure if she loves me a surely as before.

_It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts_

Sometimes when I'm drunk out of my brain, I think about how I was before I met her and how I would be if I hadn't. Then I think about leaving her. After that I get so guilty about thinking about that, that I go out and get in a fight.

_And we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again_

The pain helps. I feel better that I'm hurting myself, feel better that I'm punishing myself for thinking of leaving her- For actually considering it. I am a despicable human being, sometimes.

_Oh, tear ducts can rust!_

Sometimes, I get tired of crying. This relationship has brought me nothing but heartbreak and sadness. She is the very reason I cry. I remember that before I met her I had only cried once, now I'd lost count. And because she was with me, she had every reason to cry.

_I'll fix it for us!_

Sometimes she would break down, sit down on the floor and scream that we were broken. I never denied it. She knew I wouldn't lie to her. She would pull her dark red curls until she passed out. As much as I hated to admit it, I felt helpless when she cried.

_We're collecting dust but our loves enough!_

**CPOV:**

We didn't go out much anymore. We were only 20. We should be going to University and going to clubs at night, have friends. And yet, we hardly ever left the apartment, except for going to get more food, or going to the Laundromat. I hardly ever saw anyone but him.

_You're holding it in!_

Ever since one of my breakdowns I tried to hold it in, I tried to stop from crying every time I saw him. And, as much as I loved him, I knew we couldn't last long. I knew it was a matter of time until he got bored of me. And that just made it harder not to cry.

_You're pouring a drink!_

And as I held it in, he had a shot. And again and again and again. He was getting drunker and drunker and I needed to stop it. This was the drug that made my dear live hit me. So as he was pouring another shot I swept it off the counter.

_No nothing is as bad as it seems…_

He turned on me, knowing I had taken away his drink. He stared at me in a blind rage, seeing nothing but red. I was in for it now. I was as good as dead. I turned to run but it was already too late.

_We'll come clean!_

I opened my eyes and peeled my bloody (Literally) body off the floor. I had to leave now. As much as I loved him, I couldn't stay. I just couldn't. I walked to our room, where he lay passed out on the bed, and I picked up the suitcase under my bed. I wasted no time packing. Soon I was ready to go, my coat, beanie and scarf on. I took on last glance at his unconscious body and walked out the door.

_Just give me a reason, just a little bits enough_

I walked down the familiar streets, making my way out of Brooklyn. Once I was on the Brooklyn Bridge I managed to pull over a cab.

"Where to, sweetheart?" The man asked.

"96th and Broadway." I passed over a twenty and he drove. I knew where I was going I would be safe.

When he woke up, he would find himself alone.

_Just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again_

The cab pulled over. "You sure this is the right address, sweetheart?"

"Yeah," I said looking up at the cathedral. I took my suitcase and handbag and slammed the door closed. I walked down the sidewalk to the giant church and through the gates. Once I walked up the stairs, I rang the bell.

A moment later a black haired, brown eyed face opened the door.

"Clary!" Isabelle squealed, throwing herself into my arms. I winced and cried out a bit as she hugged me tightly.

_It's in the stars it's been written in the scars on our hearts_

She pulled back and looked at me, her face falling. "He hit you again," It wasn't a question.

I nodded and she pulled me into her cathedral, knowing that he could come after me at any moment.

_And we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again_

**JPOV:**

I wake up alone. I get up, the pain lacing up my head. _Hangover. _I walk into the lounge room and freeze. Beside the kitchen bench on the floor, is a smashed shot glass. The furniture is tipped over and on the floor is a smear of blood. I know without looking at the kitchen that this is my work. When I look around for Clary, I find no sign of her. Her clothes and art supplies are gone, all her possessions are gone.

_Oh, oh, can learn to love again_

Everything she owned, even her, was gone. Every trace. It had finally happened. She had left me. She had finally done it. She had finally broken my heart. I guess I deserved it though. I was the one who hit her, who hurt her. But, in a way, she had hurt me more than physical pain.

_Oh, oh, ah, ah, and we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again_

I sat down on the floor, the darkness and noise from the traffic outside floating through the window. I had known it was only a matter of time before it happened. And I had expected it too. Still I was heartbroken. Well, what had I expected. She would never want to see me again. I knew I never would see her again. Now, I really had lost everything.

**So, I found out a while ago that I actually, unintentionally, write a lot of angst. This started out as a nice little thing about them feeling a bit lost, but they still love each other. But then it turned into an abusive relationship where she leaves him. Mmmm, I want to know your thoughts. Also, some song requests would be appreciated. Please review and I will update soon!**

**Yours Truly, Gemma! (:**


End file.
